Author: Susan
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Iron That Won’t Sharpen
Marcus never missed a Tuesday. Six months in a men’s group, five other guys, and he showed up every single week. He talked about his kids. He talked about the…
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The Next Step Is The Only Step
Somewhere around 4am on a Monday morning, my son and I will be lacing up in the dark. No phone notifications worth checking. No caretaking schedule. No book launch timeline…
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The Man Who Shows Up Late
He’s not a bad man. I must say this upfront, because he’ll get defensive if I don’t. After all, he provides. He shows up to the games. He takes the…
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The Fog Clears When You Move
The night before a nine-mile run, I’ll tell myself I’ll probably get seven. Not as a plan. As a hedge. The legs are tired, the season is full, seven is…
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The Man Who’s Fine
I’m good. Two words. Delivered flat, with a tone that says something entirely different. Pam has learned to read the gap between what I say and what my body is…
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The Map of Your Spouse vs. The Map of Yourself
I can read Pam pretty well right now. I can see when her threshold is lower than usual. When the caretaking has eaten into her margin and something small is…
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You Don’t Get to Rest on Identity
I am logging the miles. Slow, unglamorous, walk-breaks-in-July miles. I’m showing up through the caretaking season. Protecting the mornings. Staying steady for Pam. Holding my position in a house that…
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Slow Isn’t Behind
Some mornings I walk. Not because I planned to. Because the heat is already at 85% humidity before 7am, or the hydration isn’t where it should be, or the caretaking…
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Anxiety as a Pacer
Somewhere around mile three, the voice shows up. Not loud. Just persistent. How much further? And then, a few minutes later: Why does nothing feel like it’s changing? Same pace.…
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The Accumulation Nobody Sees
Four runs a week. Most of them easy, slow, unremarkable. I’m protecting the mornings when I can get them. Finding other windows when I can’t. The run is where I…
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You Can’t Borrow Tomorrow’s Fitness Today
Mile one of my last half marathon, I went out too fast. I knew it while I was doing it. I was in the group towards the front, the group…
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The Boring Work Is the Real Work
A running coach would hate how I described what this summer’s training plan is to a friend. “Just a lot of slow, boring, easy miles,” I said. Which is technically…