There comes a time in a man’s life (usually this happens for me in the middle of the night or at the beginning of a new season in life) when he starts to ask himself the deeper questions about life, such as:

Who am I?
What am I doing with my life?

These are just 2 big questions, and they can be nearly impossible to navigate on your own. In fact, I’m navigating through them currently as we are on the cusp of a new chapter in family life.

That’s why us men need a community.

What follows this week are some of the most important questions that every man needs to ask about the quality of his life. *Taken and adapted from Dominick Q, of the Great Man Within

There are 2 main questions.

#1. Are you always busy … yet you feel like time is slipping through your fingers?

If the answer is yes, you’re not alone.

There are 2 things that contribute to this most often:

Drifting. The state of being when your life is on autopilot and your unconscious habits, patterns, fears are running your life. This is opposed to you consciously and intentionally taking action in the most important areas of your life.

Lazy Busy. Being in a perpetual state of busyness, wishing it were different, yet unwilling to take the actions necessary to and face the discomforts of creating change.

Drifting is a term coined by Napoleon Hill in the his book, Outwitting the Devil.

Over a 20-year period, Napoleon Hill interviewed 25,000 people who at the end of their lives felt like they’d failed to live up to their potential. They’d left chips on the table. They’d allowed time (and subsequently, their lives) to slip through their fingers.

How did this happen? Drift.

How do you spot drift in your life?

1. Your fears drive your behavior.
2. You lack enthusiasm and initiative for anything you are not forced to undertake.
3. You begin many things but finish very few.
4. You publicly (or privately) criticize (or judge) others.
5. You lack a major purpose in life.

Lazy Busy is inspired by Tim Ferriss in the 4 Hour Workweek where he says (paraphrased):

“Being perpetually busy is the ultimate form of laziness. It’s merely indiscriminate action left unchecked over long periods of time.”

Being busy can give you the illusion of being productive. At least for a short period of time.

Eventually however, you wake up at the end of a year (or a decade) and ask yourself the question “where did the time go and what did I do with it?”

Lazy Busy is a specific form of drift, typically arising from:

1. An inability to find peace in periods of stillness
2. A fear that if you’re not constantly in motion then something bad will happen

#2. Are you surrounded by men who call forth your best self…or men who make you feel comfortable?

Dominick Q, of the Great Man Within, states that there are 3 types of people in your life, and they relate to you in 1 of 3 ways:

1) Historical You: The people who see you as the man you were last year, 5 years ago, 20 years ago etc. They are stuck in the past. They want you stuck there with them because your growth actually is threatening to them.

2) Here and Now You: The people who see the present-day version of you. They relate to your current capabilities, your current job, marital status, physical appearance etc. These people may support your growth and evolution as long as it’s incremental in nature. Changes that are too dramatic may also be threatening to them. They may call your big ideas weird or have a hard time relating to.

3) Highest You: This is the rare breed of man who sees you not for who you are today, but who you are your greatest potential. He’s the one who holds you to that highest of standards because anything less is unacceptable. He’s the one who knows when you’re trying to pass off a B- effort as an A, and he’ll call you on that bs. This is the man who is not always comfortable to be around. But he is the man who will always call you to live to your highest standard.

In most men’s experience, 95% of the men in your life fall into the #2 category.

I get it, life is a lot more comfortable that way because these guys aren’t asking a whole lot from you.

But if the old saying holds true “you are the average of the 5 people you spend your most time with,” then what implications does that hold for your ability to become your best self?
To really lead your life well?
To set a consistent tone in your marriage and family?
To show up fully in all areas of your life?

Interested in going into the Fall with men in the #3 category? Join a MoHW Mastermind group.

Groups are forming now and will in a couple of weeks. If you are interested, take the next step and let me know.

THEN take the next step!

Strength and honor,

~ Corey