Of the many blogs I regularly read, there are a couple that I truly love. Gretchen of The Happiness Project just posted Four Tips For Writing Your Personal Commandments. Leo of Zen Habits then followed her lead by posting his Four Commandments.
So how do you do this for marriage?
It may be difficult for some to come up with a list, but having to create something together may be completely different, even difficult. You have to create something that captures both your individual commandments and those of another.
To start, what are your commandments? This isn’t an easy question. We all have many ideals we live by, but what are the core few? Check out the previous posts mentioned above for more guidance.
Here’s mine: slow down, be present, follow my passion, laugh.
Now to apply this to my wife’s and thus create our marriage commandments.
Here’s what we’ve come up with.
- Grow spiritually
- Live passionately
- Enjoy the ride
In 2009 we are planning to live by these commandments. A few of these we’ve started already – simplifying and laughing, which we’ll continue into the new year.
We are also planning to add a few things. One being a monthly dinner with friends. Not eating out or a quick bite before we’re off to something else, but a real meal together.
Researchers seem to agree on one thing: meal time with friends and loved ones is a direct predictor of happiness. Have at least one 2-3-hour dinner and/or drinks per week – yes, 2-3 hours – with those who make you smile and feel good. Rather than attempting to make this happen weekly, we are going to do this monthly. No kids, good friends, good food, good drinks, lots of laughs.
Spend the weekend creating your marriage commandments. You may need to create your own then have the conversation with your spouse. That’s fine. But have the conversation. It will help get your new year off to a better start.
Share what you come up with in the comments.
On another note, Simple Marriage now has a new logo/brand (look at the top of the site). I’d love to hear what you think.