I regularly receive emails from readers looking for help with a struggle in their marriage. They disclose the issues they are having as well as their desire to work on making things better.
The biggest reason many people in this type of situation fail to go to counseling is their spouse is uninterested in joining the process.
Perhaps they have tried counseling before and not seen any results. Or they may have no interest in counseling since it’s only for “crazy” people.
At least that’s what they think.
You want to work on the marriage, but your spouse isn’t interested in the route you’d prefer.
So what do you do if you find yourself in this situation?
You can go to counseling on your own!
You make the choice to address the issues in your life. Decide to improve yourself. Your marriage will reap the benefits of your improvements.
While this may not ultimately save your marriage, since both members of the marriage have a say in how and when this happens, it will help you better choose what you want in life and marriage.
My advice in this situation, while you are going through the counseling process (and even if you’re not in counseling, this is still worth considering), work on this question:
Do you want a spouse to complete your life, or do you want to have a spouse join you in your complete life.
Just because your spouse appears uninterested in working on the marriage does not mean you can’t work on yourself and your marriage. If you have some things you’d like to improve in life, go for it.