How To Want Sex When You Don’t Feel Sexy

Does this make you hot:

Wake up at 6:30, make coffee, hurry the kids to the bus, quick kiss on the cheek, work all day, get home, make dinner, argue over 6th grade math homework, pay bills, clean up after everyone, tuck kids into bed, wash dishes, pack tomorrow’s lunch, wash face, consider plucking eyebrows, check out the size of your love handles and crawl into bed.

Sexy, huh?

Its true – day-to-day married life doesn’t leave much room for sexy, let alone sex.

Add in the fact that marrieds gain an average of 6 to 9 pounds more than single people over 5 years and you’ve got a recipe for a cushy little rut.

As marriage ferments, your sex life feels more stale than pungent. Your inner sex kitten hides behind a gut that never existed before.

Sure, we want our husbands to be happy. By now we know that means lots of, key word: lots of sex. But what about the kids? What about working?

Say it with me: What about sleep?

When sex feels like a chore, nobody wins. When sex stops being sexy, a bleak, sexless, passionless horizon looms.

So what, you say? There’s more to life than sex, sex, sex. That’s obvious (see top description). But when it comes to a happy marriage, sex is cornerstone content. Its what separates husbands from friends. So stimulate your sexy self. You owe it to your marriage and inner sex kitten. Here are some ways to coax her back to the surface.

Think about what turns you on. There’s no shame in this. What body part, what touch, what sight excites you?

Think back to a time you felt sexy. Was it before a 10-pound baby pooped on the dream of ever having a flat stomach again? Was it when you had fewer responsibilities? Pinpoint the exact memories. What can you learn from the past? What does it tell you? Is it time for a little exercise, delegation or a weekend alone, just the two of you? Relive the past in news ways.

Think about your lover. Go over a mental image of his smile, his endearing qualities, his parts, the way he smells, the way he looks at you.

Ask him to tell you why you’re sexy. What excites him about your body, your touch, your skills? Turn down the lights. Lock the bedroom door.

Recall a hot memory. Remember that one time in the Dominican Republic when you … and then I … that was fun.

Write a sex letter. Prepare this just like a love letter. Write down all the turn ons, all the memories, every place, every position. Then read it to each other out loud.

Explore your own sexuality. A therapist once remarked how surprised she was to see individuals willing to explore outside their marriage, but so few willing to explore in it. You are husband and wife. Make the most of this amazing union. Try something new. Make it sweaty, marathon, do it three ways good.

Or even just a quickie in the morning before the kids wake. That works, too.

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