The importance of dreaming together

Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

Picture a couple in their mid-twenties on their very first date. They’re standing in line for the Splash Mountain ride at Disneyland.

If you get in a little closer, you’ll hear the guy telling the girl all about one of his most cherished dreams that he wants to accomplish in the future. He’s rambling on and on about all of the specific details of his dream. If you look at the girl, you’ll see she’s listening to every word, and somehow, deep down, wants to be part of that dream.

That couple was me and my (future) wife. Somehow, my dream resonated strongly with her. She’s told me that it was at that moment, on our very first date, that she knew there was something more to us than just a fun first date.

What Does it Mean to Dream?

I’m not referring to the dreams you have while sleeping. I’m referring the dreams that you share together as a couple. You could also call them aspirations, goals, plans, even desires.

These dreams are often shared with each other even before you get married. In many cases (like mine) it’s what helps to “woo” each other as you realize you have many common goals.

After marriage, these dreams provide the glue that keeps you working together. They give you a purpose to your everyday activities. Where you live, your job, how you spend your free time, and so forth are all determined by these dreams.

For example, let’s say you create a dream together to one day move to Hawaii and live the island life. If this is your deepest desire, then everything you do will keep you focused on that dream.

You might start looking for ways to downsize your stuff to make the move easier. You might start looking for a job or other source of income in Hawaii. You might spend time on real estate websites looking at properties on the beach. You might even trim back some of your expenses to start saving for the move.

7 Key Ways to Dream Together

  1. Become dream partners – take time to bounce ideas off of each other.
  2. Make sure they line up with your common values – this will cement in your resolve to attain them.
  3. Be supportive of each other’s dreams – no dream is too big or small, practical or absurd.
  4. Go to an inspirational place – get outside, go to a park, or even some place with a vista.
  5. Make your dream strong and vivid – it must engage you both at your core and get your emotions stirring.
  6. Write them down – put them up in a visible place where you can see them every day.
  7. Think about them daily – make sure your daily activities are in line with actually living your dream!

Dreaming together as a couple (and family) is powerful. It’s important to note that this dreaming process only works when it’s carried out through daily action. To dream is the start. To live the dream is the payoff.

In case you’re wondering, the dream I shared with my to-be wife was all about an amazing beach party still in our future. It’s evolved now to be our common dream we’re going to live 7 years from now. I’ll spare you the complete details, but it has to do with our 40th birthday party (we’re both the same age).

It involves an evening at a day’s end of playing in the ocean. Imagine a white sandy beach, warm tropical breeze, reggae music, lights on strings, and an entire party of friends and family all dancing and relaxing together. It’s something that moves us and we’ve planned our life accordingly to make it happen.

What’s one of your most powerful dreams as a couple?

What are you doing to achieve it?

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