Why You Should Never Say the “D-word” in Your Marriage

Positive WordsThe other night, my wife and I were visiting with some friends. At one point, a funny but hypothetical situation was brought up and my wife said, “I don’t know, I’d…”

She couldn’t finish her sentence.

After some coaxing, we finally got her to say what she couldn’t before. She said, “I don’t know, I’d probably divorce him”.

Even joking with friends it was hard to say.

The reason it was so hard for her was because early on in our marriage, we both decided that we would never even mention the “D-word”, not even in joking.

We’ve both conditioned ourselves to avoid the word. It’s easy – neither of us ever want a divorce, so why ever even say it?

Now, whenever we hear someone say the word, it just feels wrong. Dirty. Like a vulgar word. I don’t even like typing it![Continue Reading...]

The Fun of Going on “Dress Up” Dates

Dress Up DateNot too long after we were married, my wife and I met some friends for a double date. We were doing the normal thing – dinner and a movie.

Before we left the house, for some reason, we decided it would be funny to dress up like nerds. I take that back. It wasn’t dressing as nerds as much as it was finding random, wild clothes in our closet that absolutely didn’t match.

We walked to the restaurant where we were meeting our friends and giggled as we saw people staring strangely at us.

After all, I was wearing big work boots, 80’s shorts, a dress up shirt, and a headband while my wife was wearing a mix of flip flops, leggings, leather pants, sweater, complete with a flashy red cape.

Yeah, we were nerds.[Continue Reading...]

The Slow Date

Couple at SunsetRemember speed dating?

You sit down and try to impress the person on the other side of the table in 30 seconds or less before moving on to the next person.

How effective it actually is depends on each person.

In marriage, we need to go on dates too. Obviously, we aren’t going to go out and meet other people (if you are, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog).

But, we need to make dating a priority and since we’re married, we have plenty of time. One idea for the actual type of date to go on is what I refer to as the Slow Date.

What is the Slow Date?

Going on a slow date simply refers to going out and doing something that puts the attention on you and your spouse – not the activity.

Going to the opera or bungee jumping are great date ideas, but the purpose of the slow date is to take a break from being distracted and really get into each other.

The thinking here is that sometimes it’s really the most simple things in life that bring the most satisfaction. There’s no reason this can’t include dates.[Continue Reading...]

How to Get Along in Times of Change

Couple Communicating“Sean?”

“Yeah?”

“Just a little reminder that we’re traveling today.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Just asking you to remember that everything is going to be OK and, well, to be nice.”

Confession time: I’m not the most laidback traveler. I can get a bit, umm…let’s say, “snippy”.

When traveling, my OCD kicks into gear. I’m constantly checking if zippers are closed, passports are in the right pocket, that money is stowed away, and that we’re on schedule.

And that’s just for me!

Combine that with doing the same thing for my wife and each of my 3 kids.

Needless to say, because of the increased level of stress during travel, I’m not always the most fun person to be around, especially for my wife.[Continue Reading...]

How to Serve Your Spouse

Couple in LoveI’m fascinated watching the dynamics in other people’s marriages.

It’s interesting to see how they treat each other, how they speak to each other, and in particular, how they serve each other.

To illustrate this, let me first share with you the actions of two different men I know both with totally opposite marriages.

Both men work full time. Both have 3 kids. Both have really amazing wives. But there are a few key differences.

We’ll just call them Paul and Mitch.[Continue Reading...]