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Not to sound vain or anything with this post, but I have been asked by a few readers for my wife and I’s thoughts on a Simple Marriage. While most of you have gotten to know us by reading the blog, there are many new readers who have joined recently.
I may be breaking every journalistic rule out there today by interviewing myself, but in the interest of time and the absence of someone else to conduct the interview, here goes.
I’m joining the campaign. If you join as well, or if you decide to take it to another level and head out to a busy area with a FREE HUGS sign, let us know how it goes in the comments below.
While standing in line at the grocery store, look at any of the tabloids and you’re bound to see who’s hooked up with who, who’s having who’s baby, and many other secrets to life and marriage. What’s interesting to me is that in amongst all these Hollywood marriages, relationships and flings there are people who are seeking to find joy and contentment in life. Is that odd to anyone else or just me? Here they are, seeming to have it all, yet very few of them succeed in marriage.
I’ve yet to come across any statistics on this but I’d venture a guess that the divorce rate among celebrities is much higher than the national average. Which makes successful Hollywood marriages as likely as Will Ferrell winning an Oscar for best actor.
Hello my wonderful readers. From time to time I receive emails from readers asking about various marriage and/or life situations. Also among these emails have been a few post suggestions. I greatly appreciate these questions and the ideas you have helped generate for previous posts.
So, for this week’s ask the readers question: I humbly ask for you to submit questions or ideas for future posts in the comments below.
While I can not promise you I will be able to answer all your questions or use every idea for future posts, I will attempt to cover as many as I can. Thank you for making the Simple Marriage Project what it has become thus far. With your help, who knows what is possible.
Editor’s Note: This was written last week while on my trip through the UK. This is being posted a week after it was written, upon returning home.
I am writing this while sitting at a sidewalk cafe in Stirling, Scotland (actually I am sitting at the cafe on the right side of the street just past the pink banner in the picture). The scene around me is exactly how I pictured a European city cafe would look and feel. Narrow streets filled with shops housed in ancient buildings. This trip has been a whirlwind of sites and history.
In nine days, I’ll have traveled to eight different cities. All of them with histories dating back to the 1300s and some even older.
Here’s a brief log of our journey through Scotland and the UK. Flew into London where I got a 24-hour plunge to see as much as I could. Hopped on the train and traveled to Edinburgh. Then went to Newtongrange (my father’s hometown as a child), St. Andrews, Stirling, Glasgow, York, and Manchester. We are traveling by train and bus so I’ll get to see a lot of the countryside.
As part of this excursion, I have been trying to be more present throughout the journey.
There are many times I get an email from someone interested in marriage counseling. Usually these emails come shortly after a fight with their spouse. They will disclose the issues they are currently having in marriage as well as their desire to work on making the marriage better. The main reason many people in this type of situation fail to come to counseling is due to their spouse being uninterested in the counseling process.
They may have tried counseling before and not seen any results. Or they may have no interest in counseling since it’s only for “crazy” people. At least that’s what they think.
You want to work on the marriage, but your spouse isn’t interested in the route you’d prefer. So what do you do if you find yourself in this situation?
If you are neanderthal or cromagnum man reading this, your reaction to the title may be “What? Me must procreate!” If you are somewhat more enlightened you may be saying, “Yeah right, like there is such a thing.”
We are all sexual beings. It’s part of our design. Sexuality plays a role in most everything we encounter. Our society has become more and more sexualized. But in a marriage, there’s more to life than sex. Did I really just say that out loud?
A major component of a fulfilling marriage is the connection you sustain with your partner. However, many times this bid for connection can be met with skepticism. As if there is an ulterior motive with your wanting to touch your spouse.
There may be times where your spouse sees right through your motives. It may also be that your “moves” need a little work.
I’ll admit it, I have a few quirks in my marriage. These quirks are not things that get under my wife’s skin or are a cause of arguments. Instead, they are simply little things that drive me crazy and every so often, my wife will poke fun at me because of these quirks.
What’s one of my quirks you ask?
You know the double light switches that are often found in hallways and kitchens? I don’t like it when the switches are in opposite positions. I understand that when the lights are on, one of the switches will have to be up while the other is down. But when all lights are off, I want the switches both up or both down.
My lovely wife will sometimes walk down the hall and change them to see how long it takes me to notice. Of course, as soon as I do a big smile comes across her face.
Enough about my quirk, this week’s question: What are your marriage quirks?
My name is Corey Allan. It's nice to meet you. I began blogging during the summer of 2007 with the belief that it's possible to get more out of marriage and life. Blogging seemed like a great way to share ideas and find others who want more as well. With your help, our little project can change the world.
My name is Corey Allan. It's nice to meet you. I began blogging during the summer of 2007 with the belief that it's possible to get more out of marriage and life. Blogging seemed like a great way to share ideas and find others who want more as well. With your help, our little project can change the world.